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August 21 RLS TRAINING 006: DAY 1got up at 7:30 am goin to bed at 10:57 since thurs night I've had no more than 4 hours of sleep each night I just moved into my rez, MEK (Mary E. Keyes) last night... late night I'm still not unpacking tonight I choose sleep goodnight I lead the -advisor awakening- tomorrow morn... I'm the first!!! oi it'll rock the socks of every homie in the hause yeye I meant it July 29 Tonight was what I expectedSO! today was a day I woke up an hour past my alarm only to see rain and call my work I was un'need'ed I stay awake and get some randoms cleaned up and sorted in life I venture out from burlington 10 min on the highway actually 15 b.c there was swir'vee traf'fic did stuff including watching the last of the 5 mac summer drama fest plays making light of darkness I hang around for a couple conversations afterwards go to BP and get to see jackie & corey & tashia & ev + and it was dandifulll I am torn down split I decide not to go to hess with them NO! Emma will spend time with her workies back in borington! I go to the kingdom turns out no one came out from work except one gal and she brought all her friends and I was turned off by the trashy rock 17 gals with fishnet shit on parts of their body they thought they were covering I had a little down-time freak out where's jess? oh she's coming she's coming I call she's in bed ok corey? are you at funky yet? sooo jac's id didn't work so they end up at sidebar where I meet them I FINALLY get some drink in me I just went up to the bar funky monkey shot + a hien hein? i b4 e eh?! I'm forced to down z bubble we had to go somewhere else before last call yeah standing in the middle of hess for 15 min IS somewhere else I got to elixir to see the line-up and hear an EMMA! as hands came down on my head from the railing dearest of kristas I goodbye my formers and dance at elixir aaaaas everyone is leaving turns out! jen's dating alex!!! wwwwwwwwweird jen was so gone wait they allllll were so we finally cab it I had to be all like yo, wanna take the risk of driving 5 people? pppplllease mr??? annnd done! so we gino our pizza what? and it was hot hot hot krista couldn't stop yelling at alex something along the lines of him not having a face if he... lays next to... jen yep um yep so mamma is ever so kind and awake drives me home at the somethingdometre hits 9999 I video cam'd it on the phone we just got the car in april yep yep I crawl up the stairs in the elvator only to be salted yes salted soooooo my roomates aren't at alll who I requested AT ALL I get to choose who lives with me yet no one I chose is... ???? so I type I have memories I shouldn't have memories that are useless arh but what defines use anyways? July 16 what Emma don't like yo.I really can't stand something I was wondering why I always hangup or start to pull away the phone as I am / someone else is sayin goodbyes I don't enjoy hearing the click crackle plastic smash sound of someone hanging up I shudder! and when I hear a door lock behind me I don't feel safe! I feel shuddery ![]() funny huh? July 13 The Rock called LoveIt’s only funny until somebody gets tickled
So I went to Illinois and saw a shirt. That’s about all I did. -My name is a scar on His back- I’m not sure if I should type –how challenging- or rather –what a challenge-
Emma is back…ish, n-joy my experiences and thoughts
I was bein a garbage picker & I found a small goldish lock that was unlocked. I was about to lock it and throw it away when someone asked what it was. I told them that once I lock this lock with no key by its side, it will stay locked longer then any of us will live. I never locked it and it’s in my purse.
These mass random memories from my LIFE in whole have been jumping at me. I find myself still in motion, piecing together memories that I didn’t even know I had and placing new meaning, hate, and ideas to them. It’s more than that ‘ooooh that’s what that was/ooooh that’s what happened’ feeling, it’s deeper…. At least I would like to think so, as ever.
Someone, a guy, said he was a gentleman (I guess the modern term would be a ‘good guy’). I disagree. As sweet as he can be with the ladies, I believe the term includes how this –gentleman- treats other men as well.
Mmmm so convicted. As we all are every day, by our friends, family, those who criticize us most. I’ve been convicted by God. I am blinded by my physical freedom. I need His Love for myself that He helps me daily reveal to others.
The only thing I want to put into practice is Love. But how else am I living for Him? My identity is in Christ. I’m maturing, but not growing. Are you younger then you were last year? Have I become jaded? You’re not born again to be immature. Why am I not living life abundantly? You are being called to do something EVERY DAY. I’m not listening. Butttt, Light will be Light.
Give and get nothing. Do it & don’t consider it.
Something odd in loving remembrance. Not many people have died in my life, but I found myself praying for those who I have known and writing down my memories of / with them. How can I be to help these individuals live on in my life? Six people. Since I was 8 I remember death. The most recent being this past March. Did you know? I do fear physical death. But not for myself. For the others who believe that physical is final.
When has a sheep ever killed a wolf? When is the right time to hurt your brother? I feel like I just cannot stand people being people anymore. There is enough judgment in our world. MUST you contribute as well?????
It bugs me to know that I believe so many things that are untrue, yet I don’t know what they are.
I want more people to say what I need to hear. Not what I want to hear.
Pleaseplease remember That Just because someone doesn’t understand you, it doesn’t mean you have to make sense
Fire be with your love Ciao M June 19 emma thinksit's not that I don't have anything to say lately it's just that I don't have anything to think lately I just don't think the way I used to or about the -things- in -life- that I used to sooooo much doesn't bother me, it's fun try it it's not that I don't care it's that I think it through, seeking the rationale then I understand or at least think I do serenity I feel safe, soooo spunked (maybe I'm just using that word cause some guys at my work call me spunk... cause appparently I gotsss some), sooo me at neutral I am moved, but not bothered I am biten, but not hurt letting people around me do what they may I just give everyone I know or meet as much love as I can with that love comes attention, rememberance, and then I sleep May 17 I am SO goodayep. that's about it.
no more school stresses... I'm taking 2 summer courses now so I dooon't fail out of nursing :P next year and I can do a fab job HPA'ing it up (house program advisor for a residence)
no more moneys stresses... I'm suprisingling all caught up in my debt, errr but my little "fill out your OSAP" notes I write to myself on every day of my agenda keep getting moved up... every day on my agenda :P I despise forming!! aaah at least gov forms
no more jobby stresses... I'm in the sketchy midst of quiting my work for the antique dealer and on to my new job starting June 1st!! I just got a call, 2 weeks ago I had an interview, I'm at the front of the house in this brand new classy restaurnt opening up on the bulington lakefront, Spencer's on the Beach! it stands next to nothing but water and sand and pavement, fully glass structure (you know what I mean) with water falls! and a cafe! and everything! eee
no more wedding stresses... I figured out my wedding plans :) not mine silly, I just lost touch since high school with 2 very important people getting married quite soon, sooo one is this weeeekend, mmm excitement!
no more facebook stresses... because facebook is not a stress, it is a blessing among blessings in my life and I thank the Lord every night before I go to bed for this wonderful gift in life!
annnnd CUT |
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